Introduction

Loss of a young child is a quiet, unfamiliar, and misunderstood grief that has many layers: loss of parenthood, loss of hopes and dreams, and what is paramount – the loss of a little Loved One.

 

Loss of a New Parent

There you were – a new parent. In a different state. Hormones were ramped up. Perhaps you were glowing, empowered, nervous, tired, or overwhelmed with pride. You had carried life and you may have felt part of something larger than yourself.

Losing a young child, without going on to nurture a new life for many years to come, is a confusing emotion to process.

Focus here on yourself. How wonderful that you, even for a brief moment, cradled creation in all its glory.

 

Hopes and Dreams

Loss of hopes and dreams can be expressed as you fill in the gaps:

I see you in my mind’s eye at ten years old you are _____________
I see you in my mind’s eye at twenty years old you are __________________
I grow old, with you, forever growing, in my heart.

 

Saying Goodbye 

Preface: People do not belong to us in this Earthly Realm; people are magnificent souls who simply choose to share blocks of time with us while they are on their journey through eternity.

Write about your young child using these guidelines:

Who are you?   Describe your relationship to your child.

Personal Stories about your child:   Tell personal stories about the emotion around your child's conception and the joy they brought to you, and those around you.

What did your child teach you?   Describe the things your child taught/showed you.

How did your child relate to you spiritually?   Quote or connect something from a spiritual source to your child.

How do you plan to commemorate your child?   Describe how your child's work shall never be done, as you continue to recall their memory and apply the loving qualities you had for them into your life.

Thank you:   Thank your child for your time together.

Close with a blessing for your child:   Recite a favourite poem, quote, or blessing.

 

Men and Women after the Loss of an Infant

Men are wired to be problem solvers, so they may have started gathering medical information for future reference, or they may have set to work on some other logical task. Express appreciation to the father for whatever their role may have been.

My load was lightened by your caring ways,
Thank you for _______________
Thank you for ________________
Thank you for _________________
Through our loss we carry an unbreakable bond every day.

  

Pink and Blue Ribbon

The pink and blue ribbon signifies Pregnancy and Infant loss. Try writing about what the ribbon means to you using the following information.

• Pink signifies nurturing and love.
• Blue signifies trust and loyalty.
• All official ceremonies have ribbons in them.

 

An Imprint on Earth

You and your baby shall leave your footprints, side by side, in the shifting sands of time. Fill in the following template:

You will not be able to ____________________________
I will not be able to ____________________________
We will not be able to ______________________________
Not this time, not now But you will __________________________________
And I will ________________________________________
And we will ____________________________________
For there is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on Earth.

 

‎”A person’s a person, no matter how small.” ~ Dr. Seuss